I loved this (courtesy of the I-monk). As well as my title quote (apologies for the homophobic element!), this spoke to me:
"People think of a church planter as a pastor. He's not yet a pastor. He's trying to build the church so that he can BE a pastor."That's how I feel about my ministry. I'm not yet a pastor - I'm trying to build the church; more precisely I'm trying to bind up open wounds and get the body to knit back together. But being a pastor is what I'm called to be, and who I fundamentally am. It's just that I can't be that yet.
There are demons that need to be driven out by prayer and supplication.
My sadness is that I suspect my task in the life of these parishes is to do the structural work. It will be those who come after me who will be excellent pastors.
And that's alright. These people are so lovely. They deserve excellent pastoring, and if I can help in that process - even if it is indirect - then that is alright.